Just thought I would give an update since my last blog: I did apply for three different positions at the competitor institution I mentioned earlier. I received an email about one of them saying that they hired someone else for that position. I have not been contacted for an interview for any of them yet, so I'm pretty sure they hired internally for that particular position. I'm not really worried though; I am more than qualified for the positions I applied for, in fact, I would be taking a step back in my career if I accepted any of these positions. Chris and I agreed that it was time for me to work only part time because we are wanting to spend more time together, simplify our schedules, and even wanting to start a family sometime this year. I am super pumped about all of this.
One thing I have failed to blog about lately is my baby fever. I have been ready to have kids for the past year or so. Its been an interesting ride. My emotions are all over the place. Sometimes my desire for a baby is soooo strong that it physically hurts...and then other times I am content with waiting. Chris and I agreed before we got married that we (I) would pay off my student loans before we had kids so that I would be able to stay home (or just work part time) when the little one arrives. Well, we are (I am) getting closer and closer to paying my loans off--in fact--I will pay them off in December of this year and my body is FULLY aware that baby-making time is drawing near. Chris and I have decided to start trying some time this summer and its all kinds of exciting, scary, and nerve-racking all at once. Its been difficult lately because I have several friends and even some family members who are pregnant or have recently had babies, and I am just soooo ready to be a mommy. I am very happy for the new additions in their lives but find it hard not to think selfishly about what I don't have. I am being real here, so please don't think badly of me. Chris and I have been talking through all of this, but sometimes I feel guilty for always bringing it up. Its hard, ya know? All I can do is stay focused on the aspects of my life that I can control, and find joy and strength in the little things along the way.
One last thing, today is my former best friend's birthday. I didn't call her because I don't think I would know what to say to her if she answered, nor do I have the guts to call her. Her sweet son's birthday is in a couple days also, and I don't think I will be able to call him either. I did send each of them a birthday card a few days ago. I hope they receive them and I hope that it brings some joy into their lives.
4 comments:
Okay I think I have too much time on my hands because I find myself checking your blog regularly and am excited to see your new post!
First off, the job thing will work out and God will set you up with what's meant for this season in your life. I know I had struggled with wanting to leave my job and so forth but the time wasn't right. Then when it was God opened the door immediately and the pay, insurance, time, etc. was better.
As for the baby fever.... OMG! How exciting! I wish you and Chris blessings by the millions. I feel at this current time in our lives I can totally relate to you. I NEVER wanted kids and then out of nowhere over the past year I'm like I WANT a baby!!! However, I need a husband first. There's something about getting older and our bodies that must scream babies. But it's funny because I too am accepting of it's not now... especially when I'm feeling selfish and can treat myself to random shopping sprees!
As far as your former best friend, sending the card was a nice touch. I don't know the situation, but it was thoughtful of you and if reconciliation is meant I pray that God softens each of your hearts and gives you guidance in pursuing a friendship. If it's not meant then remember sometimes people come into our lives for just a season to make the impacts they were meant to make.
Take care!
Thanks for reading and all the encouragement!! Wow, you want kids?!?!?! That is VERY exciting news! ;) You should start a blog too! I would love to read it and show you some love in return!
I was thinking about starting a blog because I feel I have alot going on, but I couldn't figure how to get it started on this site.
Wow, Mal. What an exciting update! (well, the baby part, that is) :) I love your "realness" about the situation. It definitely IS real and a lot of people don't say exactly how they feel. How you feel is completely normal and don't feel bad about feeling that way. I'm super excited to follow your journey (the PG version, of course ;P lol).
I think it's wonderful that you will be freeing up some time in your schedule to spend with your hubby. Having all that 'extra' time together will be perfect -especially before expanding your family. :)
Also, I'd just like to say: I'm sure it must be tough making that decision to not make the birthday calls this year. However, I think that it was very thoughtful of you to have sent out birthday cards. You're such a good friend!
So glad you blogged! :)
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