Results

Keeping with the theme of my job situation, I must give an update. A few weeks ago my current manager called me into her office and gave me some bad news. She informed me that I was being written up for not meeting my goals for first quarter of 2012. I needed to meet three of five metrics at 100% and I met two at 94%. This was a tough blow for me. I have already been really distraught about not hearing back from potential employer, goals were raised by current employer, and I am just unhappy with the whole situation. There wasn't much I could do at the time. I signed my write up and proceeded to cry in the bathroom for the next few minutes. I hate failure and I really truly try to be excellent in everything I do. I have NEVER been written up before at any job I have ever had. This did, however, motivate me to apply for two additional positions elsewhere that day. 

I went on with my week praying, crying, and trying to not let my unhappiness show at work. Well, the week before last, I got a call back from potential employer for an interview! I was super ecstatic. I told the service manager at my branch--thinking I could trust her--and asked her not to say anything to my branch manager mentioned above. I told her that I would tell my branch manager the next day, and she specifically told me that she would not say anything. BIG SHOCKER: she told branch manager before I even had a chance to tell her. This really upset me. REALLY upset me. Imagine the awkward conversation branch manager and I had after that. Well, everything was resolved and I had my interview on Wednesday. I was not nervous at all during the interview. I felt really confident despite the interviewer's monotone voice and expressionless face. The interviewer called me the next day and offered me a position similar to my current one pretty close to the pay I was asking for. The offer was contingent on the results of a drug test I took on Friday. I am more than sure she will call me back tomorrow with my results and present me with a hard offer for said position. Tomorrow I may very well be giving my two week notice to current employer. 

I am so thankful, but a little ashamed of this stupid game I play with God when it comes to him "answering my prayers". I often feel like He isn't 'here' and feel like maybe I need to take care of myself in case he doesn't have time to listen to me and fulfill my needs. Its ridiculous--I know this--but I continue to do it to myself anyway. I hope to learn and grow from this and control my thoughts and reassure myself that He is more than capable to take care of me, my family, and all our needs.